So after whining about staying up late to watch the Sharks game the other night I found out it was a TiVo special which had actually been played the night before meaning that my midnight-pushing determination to see how things panned out was… misguided at best and downright stupid from most perspectives that don’t involve me not really caring to think of myself as an absolute nincompoop.

And of course after suffering through three straight miserable games, the one that wasn’t televised last night turned out to be a goal-scorin’ rip-snorter with a pleasant outcome. Figures. Stupid sports.

My Hook

I was thinking the other night that I need a hook: A thing that I can use to engage other humans when the need arises because the fact is that I don’t do conversation very well. You may not be able to tell by the fact that I could write a 10,000 word essay on toothpaste, but comfort with a keyboard (and a non-interactive “audience”) and comfort face-to-face with another homo sapien are two very different things.

I admit that part of it is that I don’t care for nor appreciate small talk. It is one thing when I talk to my parents on the phone and they tell me what kind of weather they’re having. They live a thousand miles away in a location that has a very different climate than what I experience every day. To a certain extent those discussions of the weather are interesting. But talking about the weather with people who are standing in the same room… I dunno, it just doesn’t compute for me. I feel like the same result could be accomplished by us turning slightly and looking out the window. There, conversation over.

So what I need is something to get me started or—more specifically—something to get other people started that can lead into a reasonably engaging conversation but that doesn’t necessarily have to delve into deep and potentially dangerous or uncomfortable subject matters. For example, I could walk up to relative strangers and say, “So what are your views on the Death Penalty?” That’s a conversation I’d be interested in having perhaps, but most people are more likely to gaze at me as though I had just sprouted a second head and back away slowly, being careful not to show any fear or break eye contact.

The line between “trivial and dull” and “uncomfortable yet engaging” can be fairly thin I’m afraid.

My thought is that I should talk to people about music. My theory is multi-layered: Almost everyone listens to music. Even people who don’t think they listen to music probably listen to something, even if it’s just some carols at Christmas time or a few oldies in the car. Since it’s nearly universal that makes it a lot easier to ask people about it; I could hold some interesting conversations about the latest Mac news or Settlers of Catan, but the odds of any given person being informed (or interested) enough in those subjects is too remote to qualify as a “hook.” The other part of my theory is that you can tell a lot about someone by what they listen to. Sometimes this is easy like when someone likes Contemporary Christian music (“Religious”) or The Grateful Dead (“Tone Deaf”); other times it isn’t quite as clear (“I like Mozart, Coltrane and Eminem”) but that can make it even more interesting.

And as a third layer and the real benefit (aside from the whole being more social thing) is that there’s the chance I could get some good tips on new music to try out. I might even find someone I have a lot in common with who could serve as my surrogate hipster fellow in place of Dr. Mac who has very similar musical tastes as I do, but lives on the other side of the stupid country and therefore is frequently unavailable to attend awesome shows that no one else I know wants to see or, really, would be caught dead at. I’m referring to shows such as the recent Decemberists’ concert, last fall’s missed Modest Mouse/Killers/Arcade Fire show (missing that was—no hyperbole—tragic) and the forthcoming Belle & Sebastian/New Pornographers venue.

Plus when I think about it most of the great music I’ve discovered has had very little to do with my hunting skills and has almost universally been because a friend turned me on to it. Some of my favorite bands are Radiohead, Interpol, The Shins, A.C. Newman, The Wrens and Arcade Fire: All of which were originally Dr. Mac recommendations. Cajun Blue introduced me to Big Head Todd and the Monsters; a friend of Fast-Track revealed Concrete Blonde; HB is responsible for my fascination with As I Lay Dying and The Casket Lottery; Gin‘s influence can be seen in some of the more girly stuff I find sneaking into playlists like Fiona Apple and Aimee Mann; Nikki has probably turned me on to more bands than I could even count and so on. The point is, there can be an ulterior motive at play here that is happily benign but potentially bountiful.

I’m telling you, this could be a great hook.

Just Because You’re Paranoid…

People tell me sometimes that I’m paranoid. I think paranoia is sometimes just a side effect of cynicism: The more often you think people are inclined to be scum the more likely you are to assume that everyone is up to no good and eventually that nefaroiousness could be targeting you. It’s just a logical progression.

However sometimes paranoia can be a good thing, such as when it motivates action to prevent these schemes and manifestations which admittedly may or may not exist from coming to fruition. Even if something was just a remote possibility, that’s not necessarily a reason not to fight against it. That said, read and be afraid.