People who insist on talking to me when I’m clearly wearing earphones and minding my own business.
Unwanted conversations about public transportation seating arrangements that interrupt good songs.
Vending machines that only have $1.50 “King Size” Paydays and not the regular size $0.40 ones.
Menudo. Both the “band” and the “food”.
Earthquakes just strong enough to be an all-day topic of conversation (i.e. “Did you feel the earthquake?”).
Unsolicited email explaining to me what phishing means and how to avoid it. Especially if it includes the statement, “Use a spam blocker” without acknowledging the irony.
Spam blockers that don’t work.
The “band” Pussycat Dolls.
Excessive or improperly applied air quotes.
Unfriendly or downright surly service people.
Poorly constructed sandwiches.
People who encourage me to splurge with zero insight into my financial situation.
1,000% markup on clothing.
People who interrupt an interesting story with a boring anecdote and don’t steer the conversation back to a point prior to their interruption.
Ill-functioning hibernate mode on Dell laptops.
Overly forgiving media critics.
Media critics who obviously loathe the media they cover.
Media critics.
Heavy rain in late March.
Radio broadcast-only Sharks games.
Inappropriate speakerphone use.
Applebee’s.
Lame, uncreative and transparent excuses.
The term “Mashup” applied to non-musical combinations.
Dr. Phil.
Professional wrestling’s cyclical popularity.
Lung butter.
People who ask me for help and when I offer a solution or suggestion reply, “No, I don’t want to do that.”
TV show “seasons.”
FM radio, excepting NPR.
Smart people who cling to dumb ideas.
Oprah and her legion of suburban dweebs.
The term “Soccer Mom.”
Categorical decrees about technological limitations made by people who should know better.
Brokeback Mountain jokes.
Brokeback Mountain apologists.
Gay cowboys.
The Villiage People.
Wedding receptions featuring any of the following: “The Chicken Dance”, “YMCA”, “Mambo No. 5″ or “The Macarena.”
Creepy, earnest guys who think they have a chance with a lady who is clearly uninterested.
Anne Geddes.
Software that requires typing without spellchecking.
JavaScript.
Laptop mouse solutions.
The cliché “Living Legend.”
Street names, buildings and parks named after living people.
